towers_of_ivory's Journal

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I'm mainly nice, and mostly honest, and pretty much harmless. I don't generally fuck with people, and I don't respect those who do.

I value a sense of humour and nice hands, although neither means you're necessarily worthy of my time. In the last few years I've learned a lot about people and who will be there for me when I need them, and who will accept me into their heart as a good, real, honest friend. I used to be incredibly easygoing, self-deprecating, goofy, trusting, and fell in love/lust/crushes as easy as pie. I'm a different person now, and while I'm still like that with some people, my default setting is now pleasant-faced neutrality until I get to know and trust you.

I once got corrected on the way I was using a tambourine. While it was hilarious, please don't ever do that or I'll think you're an arsehole.
(It's not like I was inserting it into my vagina. I was banging it against my leg and hand, making a fine old racket.)

I live in Brisbane, Australia. It's not my hometown, but it feels like it. I will probably move away from here once I graduate.

The things I do most often: go online, do assignments, go out with my friends, work, search for another job, watch DVDs, play with my pets, snog boys while out drinking, sing, plan further travel, and spend time with my family.

I'm single right now, and there's no one of interest in my sightlines. I rarely feel true attraction with another person, and so far every single time it's happened, it hasn't ended well. I don't have the urge to procreate/couple up like most people. I'm not against it, but it's not something I plan for. When I picture myself in ten years, it's successful, beautiful, happy and wealthy - not married or with children. I never imagined myself with a partner or children even as a little girl. My Barbies never got married; they fucked each other and punched each other and had a lot of different outfits to change into. My best friend and sister are in relationships right now. I try to stifle a yawn when I am forced to socially interact with their significant others, and try to smile when I see them being lovey-dovey with each other. I'm not jealous, I'm not emotionally cold, I'm just not... interested. I'd want to leave my boyfriend at home and go out and cheat on him with other guys. This is why it's probably best I'm single.

If you and I manage to become friends and stay that way, you'll find out that I have a huge and loving heart. I save birds I see injured on the side of the road. I help drunk girls into cabs when they're frightened and sad and can't walk straight. I move to the side if I'm in your way and I smile at you if you're looking a bit tired of life. I get into real conversations with customer servicepeople and I ask my doctor how he is, because I figure no one else does.
I care about people I hate and hope that they're happy. When out with friends and acquaintances I can be the wittiest, most charming person in the room, but there's not an on switch for that, and sometimes I'm extremely quiet and don't look to be enjoying myself at all (although I probably am).
I laugh a lot, and make other people laugh a lot. I used to do this constantly, as a defence mechanism. You know - the funny fat girl syndrome. I do this less nowdays though, because I don't value the people who are only around as long as you keep them amused.
I think I'm beautiful. Some people agree, and some people really don't. I've never been a girl who everyone agrees on, looks-wise or elsewhere.

I'm not really sure of anything. Not really. Sometimes all I want is a hug and a cookie.